SMAsh it out!

NBA star learns the hard way why he should keep both hands on the wheel.

by Anslem Samuelv

The art of car jacking (the other kind, fool) is a skill many drivers have yet to master, including NBA baller Eddie Griffin, who unsuccessfully tried to multi-task while behind the wheel. This past March, the Minnesota Timberwolves’ center was allegedly celebrating a win with a few drinks and hopped in his Cadillac Escalade:

Mistake #1
Bored and horny, he popped an X-rated movie into his dashboard-mounted DVD player.

Mistake #2
One thing led to another and good
ol’ Eddie decided to engage in a personal one-on-one game with his magic johnson.

Mistake #3
Keeping his eye on the balls instead of the road, Griffin ended up crashin’ his whip into a parked Chevy Suburban just two miles from the Target Center.

Mistake #4
Literally caught with his pants down, an apologetic Griffin proclaimed that he “couldn’t go to jail” and offered to buy the owner of the SUV any car he wanted—but “not a Bentley.” If getting busted for drinking and driving while watching a skin flick wasn’t bad enough, the 24-year-old reportedly admitted to the victim’s brother that the reason for the accident was because he was trying to, uh, pop his clutch.

Mistake #5
Now facing a lawsuit for his late
night member bender, Griffin has a lot
more embarrassing moments to explain in court…like how come he couldn’t find a groupie to participate in his late night joy ride.

Mistake #6
Maybe he could’ve gotten a pat on the back for that at least, instead of a
ticket for jerking and driving. Just another reason why friends shouldn’t let friends drive drunk. Anslem Samuel

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